We did it together.
I think that simple statement was an extremely important part of our success.
We have been married for 23 years. Our wedding pictures are proof that we had this struggle with having a healthy weight from the very beginning. For 18 of those years we had been trying, struggling, wrestling with our weight. Then three years ago we finally had a breakthrough and we did it! We lost the weight!!
What was the difference? What was different between all those failed attempts of the first 18 years and our success in the last two? I believe it was that simple fact stated at the beginning. We did it together.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, we tried to support each other in our various attempts throughout the years. But we were never really on the same page at the same time. Aaron would decide exercise was the answer and commit himself to two hours of exercise in the early morning hours every day (but I was staying home to care for three small children who didn’t always sleep on schedule and so committing to early mornings, or any scheduled two-hour period for that matter, was not very practical). I might have read an article that expounded on the evils of carbohydrates and so started to avoid those foods at all costs (but Aaron hadn’t read the same article and really wasn’t ready to give up pasta for the foreseeable future and so did not get on board with this plan).
And so, it continued…
Until… we tried to do it together. We adopted the same plan. At the same time. In the same place. And – we gave each other permission.
Permission for what? Permission to ask each other the hard questions. Permission to hold each other accountable. Permission to encourage. Permission to share.
So that’s how we did it. Together.
Of course, there’s more to it than just that. But it’s always better to cover first things first.